I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
