I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Someone came in the potted fern
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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