But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
