That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
