I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
