I swear she didn't look like that last week.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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