I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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