the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
