JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are two peas in an std pod
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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