I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
