sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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