thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
