...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Text me some of your sweat
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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