we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize