i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
