you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
