I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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