two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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