I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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