I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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