I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
