You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
