bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
