You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
