tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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