Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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