theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
