Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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