Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
