Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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