I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
