Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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