ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
