The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Let's get the cat blown out
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