if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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