Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
