Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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