nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
did you just send me my own nude
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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