She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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