i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize