Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
