Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
smell my finger.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
