I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
