Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
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