Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize