just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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