I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
