Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This toilet bowl is my home.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
