My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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