AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
