Acid is not a monday night drug
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
