Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
