i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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