Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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