what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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