And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
