I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
