She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
