What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize