if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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