bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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