I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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