I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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