I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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